Facebook's Greatest Hits: These Are A Few of My Favorite Friends

                       Photo by Melissa Rose 

My husband, the poet anthropologist, recently reminded me of a time, fifteen years ago, when we were living in Santa Barbara, California. It was one of the hottest nights of the year and we were in our little apartment, lying on our bed, sweltering and sleepless. At some point in the night, the wind turned and the breeze started to blow in from the Pacific. Sean heard the wind’s shift and imagined the cool, salty air, like water, filling up the parking lot outside our bedroom window. Finally, the breeze spilled over the sill and flowed across us. We sighed, turned to each other, and smiled. This is how he remembers our lives together, in beautiful moments. Peruse his Facebook wall, and you’ll see something similar – our lives, in beautiful frozen moments.

My twenty-year-old niece had a scream as a baby that, in my experience, stands unrivaled. Her baby cries were mere foreshadowing, though, because she’s continued throughout her life to possess a personality that fills up whatever room she occupies. She’s passionate and unfiltered, talented and beautiful. Each morning, I’m greeted with photos and captions she posts on Facebook that are alternately heartrending and breathtaking, just like her.

I have a friend that I’ve known since we attended junior high school together. His gift, even then, was the ability to connect with other people – to make friends. Today, he has 998 Facebook friends, and he informs me that he recently cut back to only those he “knows and interacts with.” He’s not a corporate CEO, or a celebrity, or a TV personality. He’s just a 40-something guy who makes great coffee…with 998 Facebook friends, at last count.

Most of my friends would probably say my greatest strength and my greatest weakness is that I think, and I overthink. Here I am, a few weeks into belatedly joining Facebook, and can I just enjoy reconnecting with friends? No, I have to write a multi-part series about it.

All of this would seem to confirm recent research that I mentioned in previous posts. We tend to get out of Facebook what we bring to it. Ironically, statistics are showing that what many people bring to social networking is a growing sense of disconnectedness. These studies further suggest that for the lonely, involvement in social media only leaves them feeling lonelier. I’ve posed the question, can we who are called to bring light and hope to this world, change this game? What would Jesus do? How does He “befriend?”

Volumes have been written about Jesus’ time on the planet, and I’m not about to compete with them. I’ve chosen four simple examples that I think are typical of how Jesus operated with those He called friends. I like these four because of how obviously they exemplify that old saying, “All truth is God’s truth.” Yep, following Jesus’ example is startlingly consistent with what recent research suggests is a healthier approach to social networking. I’ll talk more about the research in future posts, but before that, what did Jesus do?

First, Jesus saw beyond the image that people tried to project. Rather than tearing them down or simply calling them out, He encouraged them in their real heart’s desire – to be the best version of themselves – to be the person God created them to be, in Christ.

Jesus spent the majority of His time with His closest friends, serving them, teaching them, listening to them, and encouraging them. Sure, Jesus had thousands of followers, and hundreds of disciples. However, the Bible gives the impression that He saved the best of himself for just twelve guys – one of whom, He knew, would ultimately betray Him.

As everyone knows even if they’ve never picked up a Bible, Jesus enjoyed a good meal with friends. He hung out with people and shared their lives. Sometimes it was dramatic – probably with Jesus, it was never boring. But most of the time, it was just life together.

Finally, Jesus spent time alone. He had hundreds of needy people, nearly 24-hours-a-day, clamoring for His attention and care. You think He wasn’t tempted to spend every moment with them – to meet every felt need? The Bible says He was tempted with everything we are, yet He still regularly went off on his own to pray, rest, and recharge. If He could do it, we can, too.

In my next four posts, I’ll think about how applying each of these examples to our social networking might help us all be better Facebook friends, and I’ll issue a weekly challenge. Get ready – this is where it gets real.