Facebook's Greatest Hits: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

                                                            Photo by Melissa Rose 

First, thanks for coming this far with me on my Facebook journey. If you've been with me all along, skip to the next paragraph. If you’re just joining us, I’ve been thinking about our social networking practices, and noticing that how we operate confirms recent research, which says we get out of social networking what we bring to it. This research has also found, however, that what many people bring to social media is a growing feeling of disconnectedness. I’ve thought about how I, who call myself Christ’s, am also called to bring light and hope to this world. I’ve asked the question, “What do I bring to something like Facebook?” 

Last time, I suggested four examples of how Jesus related to friends. It’s interesting to see how Jesus’ example seems consistent with what recent research suggests is the healthier approach to social networking – healthy for us, and our friends. That is what I’ll be looking at for the next four weeks, and if you’re up for it, we’ll give following Jesus’ example a shot with a weekly challenge. Ready? Here we go.

Jesus saw beyond the image that people tried to project. Rather than tearing them down or simply calling them out, He encouraged them in their real heart’s desire – to be the best version of themselves – to be the person God created them to be, in Christ.

One article I’ve read about the Facebook phenomenon equated people’s Facebook pages to the airbrushed photos of models on the covers of fashion magazines. Both are projections of an ideal – but neither is real life and never will be. As Jesus also made clear, comparing ourselves to other people isn’t helpful for anyone. It’s particularly damaging when we compare our lives as a whole to someone else’s few, stellar moments.

At the same time, it is helpful to know what our friends think are the best moments in their lives and the best versions of themselves. Of course, everyone wants to be articulate, interesting, witty, and upbeat with fulfilling jobs, fabulous vacations, dear friends, cute kids, and great spouses. But no one’s real, day-to-day life is actually like this, no matter how successful, rich, or famous they may be.

While I know that the “air-brushed” Facebook phenomenon is a common one, I can honestly say that my Facebook friends have also confronted a mountain of adversity in the last few weeks. These challenges have included career changes, chemo-therapy and other health issues, and the loss of close family members – and my friends have felt comfortable sharing their struggles with me and their other Facebook friends. In return, they have received a lot of encouragement and support, and this is a very good thing.

However, even these tragic times in our lives do not (thankfully) really represent the truth of our day-to-day existence. Sharing them with our Facebook friends is informative, can be helpful, and can result in opportunities for encouragement and comfort. But in the end, our really low points don’t represent the truth of who we are any better than our really high points.

Isn’t it true that life is not about these dramatic moments, anyway, but about the struggle in between? When I say struggle, I don’t just mean the really challenging trials. I mean the day-to-day struggle to be kind  and patient when we feel stressed, to not make our bad day someone else’s, to get up in the morning and go to work (or look for work) and come home and love our families, and then get up the next morning and do the same thing over again. The struggle is how we grow. Persevering through that struggle affects our maturity – it’s how we become the people God created us to be. The beautiful moments – the unexpected joy, the laughter, the sunsets and rainbow views – are just some of the ways God lets us know it will all be worth it.

So this is what I’ve decided to do: Join my friends in taking joy in the beautiful or dramatic times they post about. Comfort and sympathize with them through the really low points. Remember that the rest of their lives are filled with days of tedious struggle, just like mine. Keep my Facebook page as real as I can, and encourage others when they do the same. The self-portraits that my photographer niece posts on days when she’s not feelin’ it, when she does (and wears) nothing of note, are some of my favorites – puffy eyes, torn t-shirt, greasy hair, unmade bed, computer camera and all – that’s my girl!

Facebook Challenge, Week One: Compose thoughtful status updates this week that give your Facebook friends insight into the day-to-day reality of your life. Alternate Challenge - Find a recent friend post that seems particularly real to you. Encourage the friend in a comment and thank them for sharing. Bonus points if no one else has commented.