Guilt and Wonder Woman

"I feel guilty a lot. I compare myself with the 

women who are home with their kids. I think I'm a little intimidated. 

Every woman feels guilty about the choices that they make." ~ Sheryl Sandberg

I just decided that my most recent haircut has a definite Mrs. Brady vibe going on, which I kind of like—there was a time I wanted to be Mrs. Brady when I grew up. This made me think about other women I admired when I was a kid. I was a girl, so of course, I went through my ballerina stage—didn’t last long. Both Wonder Woman and the Bionic Woman were heroes of mine—all the athletics I did as a kid were just me working out my Wonder Woman and Bionic Woman fantasies. On top of that, Wonder Woman wore glasses and she was still gorgeous, which made me feel better about my four-eyed status. 

But my all-time favorite television heroine has got to be…Della Street, Perry Mason’s secretary. Beautiful, smart, witty, kind, just the right amount of friendly and flirty, and indispensable. Of course, she and Perry were always on the right side of the good and evil divide. 

Pondering my Della girl-crush, I realized something—I love being “the person behind the person.” I know, not very modern to admit in this age of “leaning in.” Still, I’ve been the janitor and I’ve been the boss, and of all the jobs I’ve had up and down the corporate ladder in between, Executive Assistant has been my favorite—and I’m good at it. This led to a particularly embarrassing moment at a going away party when my soon-to-be-former boss, with tears in her eyes, told everyone that I was the absolute best thing that had ever happened to her…while her husband stood there, mouth agape.

It’s not that I want to avoid responsibility. Anyone who’s been or had a good executive assistant understands that the assistant is the one that makes it all work—even if no one else is aware of it (and they shouldn’t be, if the assistant is good at what he does.)

It’s like that scene in The American President, where Michael Douglas, as President Shepherd, is grumpily harranguing his ever-loyal Chief of Staff, A.J., played by Martin Sheen:

President Shepherd: Is the view pretty good from the cheap seats, A.J.?

A.J.:  I beg your pardon?

President Shepherd: Because it occurs to me that in twenty-five years I've never seen YOUR name on a ballot. Now why is that? Why are you always one step behind ME?

A.J. Because if I wasn't, you'd be the most popular history teacher at the University of Wisconsin!

But back to not feeling guilty about where we are in life, which is really what I’m getting at, in my meandering way. Women should be the CEO, and men, too, but only those who are called to it. Whether you believe in some cosmic idea of the universe or you fall more on the side of divine authorship like myself, the truth is we all have our own unique gifts and calling. Life is about figuring out what those gifts are and using them to the best of our abilities. But, and this is important, no one else can tell you what your place is, and how we use our abilities and gifts may not fit anyone else’s idea of success—and that’s okay.

I admit, my ideas about this sort of thing are heavily influenced by the Bible. You can find the basis for it in Romans 12:

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…

In the body of Christ, it’s good to be a mouth. It’s just as good to be an ear or a toe. Not because they are all equal, but because it’s good to be what you were created to be. What’s important is that you’re part of “the body in Christ, and individually members one of another.”

The Apostle Paul talks a lot about the mysteries of the gospel that have been revealed to us. The contentment and peace that comes to individuals in a Christian community walking in step with Christ is mysterious. The world alternates between encouraging us to do anything to come out on top, or trying to make everyone equal, and both ways end up in tyranny. God does community, and we end with each of us fulfilling our unique calling, together we love and change the world, and ultimately there is great freedom and joy. God’s way is always better, but as the state of the world attests, it can’t be done apart from Christ.

I believe God has called me to write, but that’s not all. The kids are growing up and there’s additional work to be done out there. I’ve been praying about where He’s calling me next. I wonder what I’d look like in a Della Street haircut.